Finding Myself



Here I am—a little over sixty years of age—sitting in my house all by myself with thoughts directed toward the heavens. I am desperately asking the good Lord to reveal to me the unique purpose He has ordained for me. The answer to this tough question would have best been known many years prior in life, but here I am pleading to the good Lord for a quick and clear response. While anxiously waiting, I find myself foolishly comparing my life to that of my five sons, analyzing the path each one of them has taken. Their paths seemed to be clearly laid out, whereas my path was swept away by a tumultuous storm during my teenage years.

Even if I receive my long-awaited answer from the good Lord today, can I live it out? Being in my sixties, I often wonder do I have what it takes to start over again? The fear of starting over is ever present with me. On the other hand, I find this kind of strange, seeing that I have never truly started down the right path. My true calling—as ordained by the good Lord—is still unknown to me. However, once I discover it, will I be able to change my way of thinking and aggressively pursue it while in my sixties? Nothing would be more exciting than to finish my race strong, pursuing with a passion the divine purpose laid out by the good Lord for me.

This would definitely require that I overcome the shortcomings that have mentally plagued me my entire life up to this point. My one weakness in math leads me to believe that I will never become good with numbers, thus I can never envision myself in a career where the calculation of complex numbers is involved. However, knowing the good Lord anything is possible. He could assign a discipline that fits my current strong points, or He could assign a discipline that aligns with a current weakness such as math. That would be funny. Discovering that my divine purpose is in an area where I am presently weak. Solomon asked for wisdom and the good Lord granted. He would have to do the same for me.


Photo by Phinishing Touches LLC

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